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Advice is not Conversation: Part 2

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December 28, 2012 by admin

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By Arwen McGilvra-

“And so it goes you have a solution for every little problem, a band-aid for every nick, and conversation becomes an advice session. But as they grow older they don’t want Mommy or Daddy to solve all their problems for them…” Did you miss Part 1? Click Here.

Having you fallen into this trap? Where every conversation with your teen ends with you giving them advice? It’s an easy place to find yourself. We all want to help our kids succeed in life.

But if we want to have genuine conversations with the teenagers in our lives sometimes we need to bite our tongues. Because often they aren’t telling us their problems to get our advice. They just need someone to listen to them.

The solution is pretty simple… ASK QUESTIONS.

“How did that work out?” “How do you feel about that?” “What would you have done if that happened to you?” “Why do you think they said that?” “Why do you think they did that?” “What was that like?”

When you ask genuine questions like these the spotlight is on them, and frankly everyone likes to talk about themselves.

So I challenge you to give it a try. See what happens when you turn from always giving advice to listening.


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