How to Set Consequences and Sturdy Boundaries

Recommended Reading: How to Set Consequences and Sturdy Boundaries by Dr. Townsend.

I enjoy the teaching of Cloud and Townsend and if you haven’t read it I highly recommend reading Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Livesor Boundaries with Teens.

This excerpt from Dr. Townsend’s blog is right on target and I enjoy the way he balances consequences with grace in the post.

Don’t Interfere with a Natural Consequence
Whenever possible, allow other people to face a natural consequence to an undesirable behavior or attitude. Don’t intervene. For example, allow the other person to:

– Lose a relationship as a result of being selfish

– Spend the night at the police station after being picked up for loitering late at night

– Miss out on going to a movie, concert, or event as a result of having spent all their money

These types of consequences are powerful and effective. Even better, all they require from you is that you get out of the way! Of course, many situations do not have a natural consequence, and in those instances, you need to apply something of your own making. Read the full article